Experiencing the Soul

By CHRISTINE LONGAKER

Christine Longaker is the former director of Hospice of Santa Cruz and founding director of the Buddhist Rigpa Fellowship in the United States. She developed the "Spiritual Living and Dying Program" under the guidance of her spiritual teacher, the venerable Sogyal Rinpoche, author of the acclaimed book, The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying. This chapter is based on an excerpt from Christine's book, Facing Death and Finding Hope.

"Not knowing who we are, not knowing our real essence and our interconnectedness with all life, we have all made mistakes. In this not-knowingness, if we have harmed someone or regret some things we've done, we can ask forgiveness, either from that person or from our God.

Given the extraordinary opportunity for gaining liberation that is presented at death, we need to understand how to prepare meaningfully for death while we are alive. Buddhist teachings emphasize that two things count at the moment of death: how we have lived our life and the state our mind in that moment.

"How we have lived our life" has two implications. The results of our wholesome and negative actions-and our habits-will follow us when we die. Buddhist teachings describe the principle of karma: Our every action has a consequence, or reaction, on our self. Even though we don't immediately witness the effects of our actions; nonetheless, they are there. All of the actions of our life-including our words and our thoughts-are 11ke seeds that we are sowing, and later in life or after we die, those seeds will mature and bear fruit. The effects of our actions will be our harvest at death, for better or worse, and they will have an impact on our experiences in the after-death states, determining the quality of our next existence.

Those who have survived clinical death and have had a prolonged neardeath experience have described witnessing a complete review of everything they had done in life, even scenes they didn't consciously remember. However, they don't just passively watch what they've done; those who entered death's threshold describe experiencing the effect of their actions on others as though they were now receiving it.

"Everything in my life went by for review--I was ashamed of a lot of things I experienced because it seemed I had a different knowledge-not only what I had done, but how I had affected other people. I found out that not even your thoughts are lost. It was a total reliving of every thought I had thought, every word I had spoken, and every deed I had ever done; plus the effect of each thought, word, and deed on everyone and anyone who had ever come within my environment or sphere of influence whether I knew them or not."

One woman who had two near-death experiences in her life told me, "After death, when you see the effects of your actions and even your thoughts on everything and everyone, that is hell. In all of the seemingly insignificant encounters of your life-perhaps your reaction to a stranger who walks into a shop-you see how you are constantly projecting your judgments, your selfish or negative motivations, and you yourself now feel the effects of them."

It is clear that people who have survived near-death experiences are lucky, for now they have another chance to live, to atone for what they had done, to use their minds and hearts in a positive way, bringing kindness and good circumstances to others. Yet we who hear their message are no different. We can honestly assess our lives, heal our past actions, forgive others and ask forgiveness, and resolve to live in a different way, beginning now.