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Types of Contact with the Dead
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Over the years, I have catalogued nine types of contact experiences. I will briefly introduce them here and follow with a short description of each. In succeeding chapters, each will be discussed at length. This classification is based on the contact of the bereaved person by the deceased.
- The Intuitive Experience
- Postmortem Presence
- Auditory Contacts
- The Presence of Birds and Animals
- Tactile Experience
- The Sense of Smell or Olfactory Experience
- Symbols and Signs
- Third Party Experiences
- Dreams of the Deceased
The Intuitive Experience. This experience involves a feeling that the deceased is present and
in some instances watching over the survivor. It may occur when a survivor is alone or with
others. Several mourners may sense the presence at the same time. Sometimes the presence is
sensed in conjunction with the appearance of an insect or animal in an unusual place. It could
occur with a wild animal appearing in one's backyard for the first time or a butterfly coming to
rest on one's chair or table.
Postmortem Presence. This experience is visually oriented, and commonly involves seeing the deceased sitting in his or her favorite chair or standing in a familiar place within the house. It has also been reported by those who have experienced the deceased immediately after death when the survivor has not yet been notified of the death. Sometimes the deceased is seen by more than one person and in different places.
Auditory Contacts. Sound, based experiences occur in a variety of settings in which the survivor may hear the footsteps, breathing, or laughter of the person who died. In some instances, a loved one and the deceased carry on a conversation. It may also involve hearing a door opening at a time when the person normally came home, or the actual voice giving encouragement, advice, or warnings. It may be music associated with the deceased, or in some instances communication may occur without words being spoken.
Birds and Animals. These creatures are common means through which the deceased may communicate with a survivor. Usually, such a bird or animal was of particular interest to the deceased, and its presence or behavior at an unusual time or place is interpreted as an indicator of a comforting message. Sometimes it is interpreted as an answer to a prayer.
Tactile Experiences. Touch-based contacts take the form of an embrace, the feeling of a touch, or the clasping of hands. Often the Tactile Experience is combined with verbal or nonverbal communication as well as being a major component in vivid dreams.
The Sense of Smell Experience. This is usually associated with the scent of something the deceased wore, such as perfume, cologne, or a flower. Sometimes, the odor of delicious baked goods that the deceased used to make fills the room when there is no source of the food odor to be found. Many other aromas associated with the deceased such as pipe tobacco or bath powder may be involved.
Symbols and Signs. Objects such as clocks, rainbows, or personal objects of the deceased are commonly involved with the contact experience. Their presence or absence at a particular time is interpreted as a communication from the deceased or from God. The object could be a Christmas ornament, a sand dollar, a picture frame found in an unusual place, or a possession of the deceased.
Third, Party Experiences. These involve a third person who has little or no information about the relationship between the survivor and the deceased, but becomes a primary messenger to the survivor. Often the third person is a young child, and his or her behavior conveys a meaningful message to the bereaved. In some situations, a near death experience results in helping a survivor when the loved one finally dies.
Dreams of the Deceased. Such dreams are common ways in which survivors receive information that the deceased is all right, and that the survivor should not worry. These dreams are vivid and have a particular quality quite unlike a normal dream. Sometimes several people will have the same or a similar dream about the same deceased person.
Birds and animals as well as symbols are in some respects indirect contacts. That is, the deceased are not seen or heard, but the circumstances of the contact reflect thoughts, feelings or behaviors associated with the deceased. Nevertheless, they can provide information which is as supportive to the bereaved as any of the direct contacts. Often dismissed by empiricists as coincidence or chance events, indirect contacts forge links to the deceased which sustain survivors throughout the course of their grief work, and in some cases for the rest of their lives.
There are probably as many variations of these nine categories of contact experiences as there are mourners, and many contact experiences include a combination of direct or/or indirect contacts. Although many specialists on grief would say that all of the above are essentially the products of searching behavior (looking for the deceased to return, coupled with the refusal to give up the past), most of those who experience a contact say they were not consciously looking for a return or a message in the form in which they received it.
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