Between the Grains of Sand

by Joel Metzger

Two Kinds of Experience

You can experience things outside of your body, and also experience things inside. You can think about things that have touched your life, and about things you have never directly encountered. You can see yourself in the mirror, and also sense your body's movements and sounds. You can see someone and feel love for them, and also feel the strength and sweetness of the love itself. You can think about your life, the things in it and the things you do, and also you can feel the life itself, as it animates your body and thoughts.

Things far, things close. Experiences come in two flavors: there's an outer, there's an inner. The two are clearly different. The outer realm is everything I see and sense. I think about this realm, and deduce and decide. The deductions reside, of course, between my ears. But even though they are thoughts that are in my head, they are thoughts about the outer realm.

And also I can feel. Without thought, I can sense (feel, intuit, perceive, experience, know) a deeper realm. This is the realm of subjectivity. It can not be examined or measured. It can only be experienced. The inner realm is not discussed in the sciences; it is often taboo in medicine. Noetic vision is the perspective that sees the primacy -- immediacy and importance - of experience itself. This is the realm of the Online Noetic Network.

The inner realm is not a defined physical territory. To talk about the realm within is to talk about a direction, not a place. I would describe it by saying that within me is a central point. That center is empty and sweet stillness. That stillness has become, to me, a presence. It is the presence of peace, strength, and beauty in my life; the anchor around which my life game revolves.

I can see this wholeness and know it will always be present. It is mine, *mine* as nothing else is; it is me being with myself, owned by me and never to be taken. When all else is taken away, this remains. It is the moments between the events, the consciousness between the thoughts, the presence between all spaces. It is the fluid surrounding all aspects of my life, the sea that rushes in. It's the juice of my life.

Mindwalk

Recently I watched a movie that reminded me of this juice. *Mindwalk* is a discussion about the nature of matter. The film portrays a discussion between a politician, a poet, and a physicist. They are discussing the understandings of physics, scientific paradigms, and the evolving worldview. To me it is a metaphor of the presence that fills my moments.

The physicist talks about the relative sizes of subatomic particles. She relates the miniscule mass of these particles, even though these tiny particles are the foundations of all matter. As she illustrates it, if we pretend that an orange is the size of the earth, then each atom in that fruit is the size of a cherry. Moreover, she says, if we blow each atom -- each cherry, that is -- to the size of the island on which they stand, then the nucleus is a small pebble in the center. And each electron would be much smaller still, all the way at the edge of the island.

Then she points out that the space between the pebble at the center and the dots at the edge would be empty. The entire space between those miniscule particles is entirely empty. Nothing! And the others are amazed. They wonder, what makes everything seem so solid? Why can't we pass our hands through rocks?

I am not a scientist and I know little about the complexities of physics. I do not mention this dialog from Mindwalk so I could talk about subatomic particles. This conversation reminds me of the way I see my own consciousness. An interesting parallel.

Like matter, these thoughts look real. I perceive where I live, and with that I construct my life. My thoughts are walls, my own personal walls. They make up my conceptual environment. They give solidity to my self-image and my situations. From them I construct my fortunes and problems. How real are they?

And, what about the inner realm? There is a direction that is personal and not measurable. Down the inner path is a frontier without thought. It leads to an exploration of the space and groundbase that is between thoughts. This ground is a river of creativity, just like Mindwalk's description of atoms.

What's between those thoughts? That's the treasure! That's the question I want to spend my life asking. And answering. Because in that space, that little, quiet gap between the things and thoughts and business of my life, there is the beauty of life itself. Simple and subtle, quietly calling, announcing its fullness, life is an entity of calm strength.

At the seashore. On the beach. Digging a hole. Deeper I go and water begins to fill the well. Carve a space and liquid streams in. When I am conscious of life, I cannot feel emptiness. All space between the grains of sand is filled with the juice of life.

Joel Metzger is a writer and editor of The Online Noetic Network - Knowing Spirit & Self Wisdomtalk via Email!

ONN is an online community in dialog about noetic vision: Awareness, spirituality, and conscious living. Joel can be reached through the Online Noetic Network Website, or email, ONNJoel@wisdomtalk.org.